Letting Go

"Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head."
-- Ann Landers

Living rent-free: what a concept. Although I have absolutely no room to speak, considering that I live rent-free in the wonderful hospitality of my parent's home, it really does sound ideal. My parents don't despise me, or at least they do not show their distaste in my company as a roommate. I did decorate the Christmas Tree by myself this year and certainly will never let them or my brother forget that. But why would anyone let someone they loathe live in the hearts and heads, with no rent?

I guess this goes along with the famous "forgive and forget" line. It is nearly impossible to actually forget resentment when you have neglected to forgive. I luckily do not hold a lot of resentment and to be truthful, I can't even come up with the last time I was extremely mad at anyone on a level that I would really let it get to me. I think this is because resentment builds up and if you do not forgive in small doses, its harder and harder to forgive as resentment builds.

I am not perfect and neither are the people that are in my life. We are all human and make mistakes. Our mistakes do not define us as less of a person. They define us as improving people. I know that once I have made a mistake, I do not think to myself, "Well, I can't wait for the next time I make that again." No, we learn from every mistake we make and try to improve ourselves, so that we don't make the same mistake twice. So why should we punish the people we love in our lives, who are really just experiencing mistakes to become better individuals.

Yes, I am looking at this in a very optimistic light, and I am not saying some mistakes do not include malice. I am saying that holding resentment for even the acts that were intended to hurt us, is only hurting ourselves. The perpetrator of these acts may only want you to be emotionally affected and by letting them live in your minds is only allowing them to win.

I don't only believe that it lets them win, I also think that it hurts the ones you love around you. When you are resenting and holding so much anger, there is no way it doesn't seep out of your skin and start to affect the ones important in our lives. Although we all make mistakes, I am sure none of us want to hurt our loved ones.

Why not Forgive and Let Go?